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As someone who spends a lot of time thinking about surveillance cameras and compliance reports, I occasionally need a creative outlet. So one day, my favorite Axis rep inspired me: What if the security camera could talk back? Specifically—what if it could roast people AND tell them to scram? I wasn’t thinking “scalable product.” I was thinking “this will make my kids laugh.” And it did. But it also did something I didn’t expect. Here’s how it works: I used Node-Red and Axis as the foundation, then tied in an AI model that analyzes an image captured from the camera for people—pulling visual traits like clothing, posture, accessories, and general vibe. From there, the model generates a one-liner, sends it to another model that gives voice to the roast, which is then played through a speaker. For example, instead of setting off a flashing light or an alarm when I walked by, I was dragged for my bald head: “Hey, grey hoodie. You look like a thumb that escaped from a puppet show. Move along.” It’s funny. It’s weird. And it works.
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